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Monday, May 20, 2013

Manic Monday - TSC's Hierarchy of Needs

An exercise I was once given in counselling was to create something of a visual representation of my needs/wants in a partner.  It was something akin to Maslow's hierarchy of needs - on the bottom were the non-negotiables, the things that  I could not live without and would not overlook to assess if additional characteristics were present.  The next tier would be the less critical things, but still highly important.  And on and on until we reach the smallest, top section which would have traits that were desirable but not deal-breakers.  I completed this activity over a year ago, amid the ruckus that was that time and I thought I would revisit it now to see if anything has changed.

(Note: Last time I did this exercise, I learned just as much about me as I was setting limits and parameters for what I would and would not accept.  It was quite a handy tool!)

Give it a try....what are your needs?


TSC's Hierarchy of Needs 2013

Bottom Tier (i.e. initial Deal-breakers):
Respectful | Kind | Ambitious | Emotionally Stable | Christian | Single |Supportive | Accepting of my child | Open/Willing to talk | Intelligent | Thoughtful  |Sense of Humour | Wants to get married eventually | Friendly | No Drugs

Second Tier (i.e. Important and to be assessed early on):
Gentle | Smart | Self-aware | Strong communication skills | Desire to communicate/problem-solve | Social | Affectionate | Attends church | Family-oriented | Empathetic | Educated | Funny | Wants Children | Willing to wait for sex | Balanced (together time/own life) | Responsible | Mature | Confident

Third Tier (i.e. Semi-negotiable, but highly desirable):
Romantic | Punctual | Adventurous | Spontaneous | Wants to travel | Reads | Open to adopting children | Tries new things | Fights fair* (*Note: "Fight's fair" isn't negotiable per se, however, it is on the third tier because I imagine needing to be somewhat involved to really have a blow up in which this skill can be demonstrated)

Top Tier (i.e. icing on the cake):
Sensual | Active | Handsome | Tall


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